Sorry, Mom and Boris, but clowns are creepy.

Fuck clowns.

Doorway to the observation deck

Nice couple

These guys were dancing(?) to some of the worst music imaginable. This is a very common scene in Put-In-Bay.

Top of the memorial

View from atop Perry's Memorial

OH YES.

How about this fine mullet specimen? He was wavin' that mane all over the bar, breaking white trash girls hearts with every flick of that long, silky plumage.

Could I be more emphatic?

FUCK Guinness in a plastic cup.

Um....

Kim: (yelling) "I LOVE THIS FUCKING PLACE!"
Heidi: "Captain Buck? Why does it smell like piss on your bus?"

Kim?

Are 48 beers really enough for two days?

Chrissy (shut the fuck up!)

What we wouldn't give for that toy to be a voodoo doll. Oh, whiskey, you are the devil!

Disaster Area

Aftermath of Katrina? Nope. Um, if my room looked like this when I was 12, my Dad would've grounded me for three weeks.

The late Maxine Pad

Poor little hamster. You never had a chance. I never blamed you for biting every finger offered you, because I know what that damned cage smelled like. Rest in peace.

Wow.

This car was sitting in the parking space next to mine one day when I went to pick up the mail.