My last day as a voiceover artist

Well, today is the last day that I'll be assigned any work from my soon-to-be ex-company, and that also means I won't be doing any fucking voiceovers ever again. You have no idea how happy this makes me.

Wow, that is one clever T-shirt.

Why do unfunny people think they're funny?

Has anyone seen this drunk?

I can't find Key anywhere. Maybe we should start putting "Missing Drunk" labels on beer in an effort to locate her.

Teats

This huge fiberglass cow was advertising Turkey Hill Ice Cream. Yeah, you heard me, Turkey Hill Ice Cream. Who was the marketing genius that came up with this? I could see Turkey Hill Breakfast Links, maybe even Turkey Hill Homestyle Gravy or Stuffing. But ICE CREAM?!?
I don't get it.

from 'As The Sparrow' by Bukowski

Dear child, I only did to you what the sparrow
did to you; I am old when it is fashionable to be
young; I cry when it is fashionable to laugh.
I hated you when it would have taken less courage
to love.

Mossy tree in Beaver Creek State Park

I don't care what you think.

Ohio will always be beautiful to me.

John from the Nuthouse

For a bartender in a local shithole place like the Nuthouse Saloon, John has an amazingly wry sense of humor. He was just about to make a comment on some idiot when I snapped this photo.

A boy and his horse

Patches likes to hypnotize unsuspecting boys into submission. Taste the rainbow.

Elite-tard

My "friend" Mark. Whatever happened to that guy?

No, we weren't in Georgia

This huge rebel flag was flying (and is still flying, I'm sure) in the back patio area of a roadside bar, right outside of Rogers, Ohio. What's also disturbing is that there was a home close to the bait shop that was flying the rebel flag as well. Obviously, we were deep in redneck country this weekend.

The Toad Whisperer

Ohio is thick with toads this time of year, especially after a rain. This unlucky bastard flopped into our camp, only to be assaulted mercilessly by the girls for probably the longest hour of its life. Golden.

Gone fishing

I don't know of a bigger ass-whipping than going fishing. Ok, maybe walking down a steep wooded trail in order to WATCH two 12 year olds go fishing and give up within a half hour, perhaps THAT is a bigger ass-whipping...

Bubba Cola

Nothing quenches my thirst quite like a Bubba Cola. I can't believe this is for real.

Stay out!

It's a good thing they put up this sign because if there's one thing I can't resist, it's a junk yard, owned by hillbillies, miles from civilization.

Bait

If you are ever in Rogers, the guy at Keener's Bait & Tackle will sell you nightcrawlers and throw in a free goldfish.

Nice dress

Kim does her best Julie Andrews impression for us.

Welcome to the tee pee

It sounded like a good idea. Camping out in a tee pee. Guess what? It gets hotter than a sauna in here, especially when your fire-crazy friend builds a fire that lasts until the wee hours of the morning and it's about 7 feet away from the tee pee. I said, it's hot in there, goddamnit!

Adventure Team Marlboro

Cancer is exciting! If you don't believe me, just take a gander at this sleeping bag cover!

Devil Spawn and the Jumbo Inflate Monkey

Nice Beavers at the Park Office

I am assuming that these are the titular creatures of Beaver Creek State Park.

Cold Pop

One of the best things about moving back to Ohio is that people call pop POP. Not the Texan "the-word-coke-encompasses-all-soft-drinks" thing, not "soda" - it's POP, people!

Tie dye

'Don Pizza' surveillance photo

This guy is the head of the pizza mafia in Kim's neighborhood. I don't know what that means, I just know that he commands fucking respect, even when he's nodding off at 8:35 when you go in to pick up your pie.

Blurry tiki torches and the volleyball net

What the fuck?

Kim's neighbor has a bunch of biohazard containers stored under his deck. There is something seriously wrong with this picture.

I learned this trick from Charlie

Spot the gull

at the Ribs Burn Off in Canton

I am so fucked...

Buddy Lee

Buddy Lee creeps me out. I don't know if it's the expression on his face, the ultra-red lips or the strange sideways eyeballs... whatever it is, it's bad.

Fending off hilljacks.

Bekki and I at the Nut House, fending off hilljacks.

Kim

Kim and I met in art school. In our last quarter, we were sitting in a particularly usless class, all about how to go on an interview, etc. when Kim passed me a note. I hadn't talked very much to Kim before this. The note was nothing more of a cartoon of the two of us, depicted as stick figures (I used to be skinny) in a sort of sophmoric equation that spelled out: Me+You=a beer at Pete & Pat's Lounge. We hung out together from that moment on, until she moved back to Cleveland. The craziest thing about us is that we eventually found out that we both were born on the exact same day, along with 4 other people in our class.

Lay down on the ground, everyone...

Portrait in old mirror from Jim and Bekki's tub.

Bangs, y'all.

I miss Key

I miss Key so much, mostly because of moments like this one.