How can the 'Pine be closed?!

"Kim, he's not in there."

Timely Timeless

Obviously, burgundy is the new black.

You guessed it...

It's a HAVEN OF CHEESE!

I Love Jesus

Now let's get drunk on 5 dollar cans of Miller Light and collect beads.

Happy Put-In-Bay New Year!

Wheel of Fortune

Drunk

I know it's hard to see in the photo, but this guy was having an extremely hard time standing up. There was a group of maybe 20 or so people watching this scene from across the street, Kim and I included. Amazing.

Light Pink Suit

You gotta love a guy that makes a fashion choice as bold as this.

Jake

This dog sold us a couple of T-Shirts.

Even nicer!

This super cute couple have just finished pissing in public right outside our hotel room window in the middle of the afternoon. Ahhhhh, Put-In-Bay...

Nice.

Somebody's driveway in Put-In-Bay on gameday. I don't even know what to write about this.

Wino Xing

Yeah, a bit obvious, I know. It doesn't make it any less funny, assholes.

Ivy Covered Wall in Carrollton

This is a cool wall in C-town. There used to be a really cool old jeweler that had a shop in between where this wall is and the next building, but as with much in Carrollton, it most likely went out of business and no one bought the store, so they tore it down.

The Pleasure Chest

My friend Dave had a cooler like this in the late 80's... I can't remember if it was something that he had inherited from a family member or if he had bought it at some thrift shop, but I know for sure that if he did buy it he didn't pay what they were asking for it at this Carrollton "Antique" shop. They wanted 40 bucks for this baby. Who knows, I may break down and buy it when I have a job.

Toby

I love the Toby.

Sorry, Mom and Boris, but clowns are creepy.

Fuck clowns.

Doorway to the observation deck

Nice couple

These guys were dancing(?) to some of the worst music imaginable. This is a very common scene in Put-In-Bay.

Top of the memorial

View from atop Perry's Memorial

OH YES.

How about this fine mullet specimen? He was wavin' that mane all over the bar, breaking white trash girls hearts with every flick of that long, silky plumage.

Could I be more emphatic?

FUCK Guinness in a plastic cup.

Um....

Kim: (yelling) "I LOVE THIS FUCKING PLACE!"
Heidi: "Captain Buck? Why does it smell like piss on your bus?"

Kim?

Are 48 beers really enough for two days?

Chrissy (shut the fuck up!)

What we wouldn't give for that toy to be a voodoo doll. Oh, whiskey, you are the devil!

Disaster Area

Aftermath of Katrina? Nope. Um, if my room looked like this when I was 12, my Dad would've grounded me for three weeks.

The late Maxine Pad

Poor little hamster. You never had a chance. I never blamed you for biting every finger offered you, because I know what that damned cage smelled like. Rest in peace.

Wow.

This car was sitting in the parking space next to mine one day when I went to pick up the mail.

No! No Parking

As fate would have it, the Knotty Pine is located directly across the street from an AA Meeting. Problem is, they seem to want to park in Pete's lot. This is not cool with Pete at all, and so he fashioned this beautiful, direct and magical sign that fends all 12-steppers away. Cheers!

One of Kim's co-workers

Yeah, he smokes a pipe - AND listens to the Cramps. Yes, you heard me. A pipe-smoking, Cramps-loving ACCOUNTANT.

Pete

Here's Pete in an action shot, cracking a beer for Kim before he goes out into the cold to retrieve his 'No, No Parking!' sign from the lot. I'll be posting a shot of the aforementioned sign soon, along with the story behind it.

Kim and I always forget this guy's name

He's the best. That's HIS seat, my friend. Don't ever forget it. Plus, he always watches us leave and makes sure we make it to our car safely. Whatever your name is, we love you.

On the long hike back up to camp

Blurry.

LeCock Brand Hot Dogs

My friend Jake, who at the moment lives in Sicily, took a picture of these wonderfully delicious hot dogs. They are considered a delicacy in many exclusive gourmet groceries in the U.S., but as it turns out, even housecats will not eat them. No accounting for taste...

Being layed off sucks.

Weird bug

This was on my Mom's window. I have no idea what it was, I've never seen anything like it.

Free Popcorn

Another great thing about movie night at the Nuthouse.

Bekki and I

I still can't believe that we met in 7th grade and we still know each other. Bekki is FUN.

John: Bartender Extraordinaire

I think John was trying to explain Occam's Razor to us or... something.

Nuthouse Drunks

These guys were really entertaining. I love the expression on the face of the guy on the left. Perfect.

Pure Party

I'm not sure what this means.

Card tricks

John tried to show Bekki and me some card tricks and how they worked. I don't remember any of them.

HUGE Beer

At the Nuthouse, a huge beer is a mere dollar fifty.

Movie Night at the Nuthouse

Yes, I am that hard up for entertainment.

My last day as a voiceover artist

Well, today is the last day that I'll be assigned any work from my soon-to-be ex-company, and that also means I won't be doing any fucking voiceovers ever again. You have no idea how happy this makes me.

Wow, that is one clever T-shirt.

Why do unfunny people think they're funny?

Has anyone seen this drunk?

I can't find Key anywhere. Maybe we should start putting "Missing Drunk" labels on beer in an effort to locate her.

Teats

This huge fiberglass cow was advertising Turkey Hill Ice Cream. Yeah, you heard me, Turkey Hill Ice Cream. Who was the marketing genius that came up with this? I could see Turkey Hill Breakfast Links, maybe even Turkey Hill Homestyle Gravy or Stuffing. But ICE CREAM?!?
I don't get it.

from 'As The Sparrow' by Bukowski

Dear child, I only did to you what the sparrow
did to you; I am old when it is fashionable to be
young; I cry when it is fashionable to laugh.
I hated you when it would have taken less courage
to love.